Random Analytica

G*, ever forgetful, left her company phone (a Nokia E50 I believe) somewhere on the way to work. When she realised her mistake, she called her number from work. Unfortunately, a meth-head had picked it up and was demanding $50 for it’s return. The Grub is lucky. J* was G* on-again/off-again boyfriend and highly protective of her. He was on the road at the time and if had of got involved who knows what might have happened. Hell, I just wanted to kill the Grub just for being a meth-head but G* decided that we should ring the police instead and get some professional advice.

They had a plan. I had 15-minutes to put it together.

I’ll let the Statement tell the story and I’ll add a couple of notes at the end.

*****

Just a bit more detail on the witness statement.

Point 1: The sentence about my address sounds a bit ominous, but it is just a protection for witnesses giving evidence.

Point 5: I cannot remember who was my sidekick here, but I suspect it was AV* or AS*? I’ll follow-up but after the swap went down, he would have taken G* back to the office as she was quite shaken.

Point 6: The Grub. Target acquired.

Point 7: The Grub. Stand over merchant.

Point 10: This is where it becomes personal for me. When he drops the “Where’s my fucken thank you” he is right in G*s face, sneering at her. He doesn’t just walk away; he does an immediate 180-degree turn around and is walking away fast. I check on G*. She is shaken but ok and my colleague starts to take her back to the office. I go hunting.

Point 12: I’ve had training. The Grub is a zero. He takes some rudimentary precautions but doesn’t see the threat. I’m not a copper though. I blend in.

Point 13: Funny little detail here. The QPS should have arrested the Grub at the swap but were running late. I’m tailing the Grub. The QPS are tailing me, and we are now in contact via mobile phone, but they get caught by a red light. They were actually asking if I was in danger which would allow them, legally, to run the red-light. I think I laughed at that. Not my first rodeo.

Point 15: I have been following the Grub for 30-minutes at this stage. He doesn’t even know. The two QPS officers finally catch up with me.

Point 16: I identify the target as he enters a white building. The QPS officer are right on his hammer and I reckon he got arrested just out of my line of vision. I laugh. Jobs done.

Point 19: Terrible sentence structure. My bad.

Post Note (1): Even though Nokia’s were pretty basic back in the day, replacing company phones was a tiresome chore and expensive. G* would have gladly given anyone $20 – $50 just to find it and return it. As a gift. The Grub was a meth-head zero on the grift.

Post Note (2): I never appeared. My witness statement was enough to convince him to plead. He had a very long rap-sheet. Not sure of the sentence. Don’t care.

Post Note (3): I believe G* & J* are happily married and living in Melbourne now. Another fact-check but a pleasant one.

References

1. Witness Statement. Shane Granger on behalf of the Queensland Police Service. [14.11.2006]